Time for a bit of a poll. Novelty gadgets designed specifically for blokes have long since consisted of the fart noise maker, the frosted beer glass or that hat with drinks can holders on it, a popular Father’s Day gift, if not birthday present, the world over. But what’s the verdict on all the willy stuff? Are guys buying these willy-related paraphernalia for themselves or getting them as gifts from their girlfriends, partners or, worse, mothers?
And how do you feel about that? What’s going through your mind as you open up your neatly wrapped birthday present, look up lovingly into your partners oddly smirking face and return your eyes to your lap, where now sits a gleaming, leather encased, gentleman’s willy care kit. What’s she trying to say? OK so it is funny. The thing has a member-sized medallion included in it– just to make the old man look special once you’ve shined him up. But who’s finding this more funny one has to ask. And wouldn’t a wireless nunchuck have more onward value.
There’s also the love muscle toner, the ball scratcher and the good old belly button brush. Not to mention the trouser expander – an inflatable device designed to increase the bulge in your trousers. Could you ever wear it seriously outside of a fancy dress or stag do? Well… maybe if you’re having a cold day.
But it’s funny how girlfriends don’t give you novelty gifts like a fantastic pair of shower breasts: Shower cream and shampoo in a wall-mounted holder that, when squeezed, distributes your cleaning products… oh and it looks and feels like a pair of breasts, bonus. Now there’s a real boy’s toy for you – the perfect mix of immaturity, intrigue and perversion. And who wouldn’t want to fondle a pair of soapy breasts every morning? Perhaps the girlfriend, but then surely it would just take the pressure off her?
At which point it’s a good idea to embrace the willy care kit and be quiet.
Gentleman's Willy Care Kit